By Alexa Day
Happy October, neighbors! Are you as excited about Halloween as I am?
You’re probably not. Seriously, when it comes to Halloween, I’m like Will Ferrell’s character in Elf. If you were as excited as I am, you’d probably be hospitalized.
But even if your excitement is just at normal levels, I know you’re starting to think about Halloween costumes. You are wise to start thinking about this now. Halloween is a big deal these days. If you don’t start looking early, you might find yourself among the hordes, fighting over what passes for women’s costumes now.
The people who make Halloween costumes for women have lost their minds. I won’t even sugar coat it for you. Don’t believe me? That’s fine. Head on over to your local Halloween store; they’re popping up everywhere right about now. Check out what these folks expect you to wear.
Women’s costumes — the storebought ones — are tiny. The skirts are short. The sleeves are short. They have lots of see-through components. Ordinarily, that’s not a problem for me.
But Halloween is at the end of October. It’s the day before November every single year. And in most American locations, the weather will not favor these outfits.
So how does a smart, sexy girl avoid pneumonia on Halloween night?
Easy. Shop your closet.
Oh, sure, you can start at the party stores if you want. It’s a great place for ideas. And it’s a great idea to score accessories here. I suggest classic accessories for the same reason I suggest the classics for regular wardrobes. If you find a good piece, you can wear it forever. I have a dreadlock wig, for instance, that I have used in an Unfrozen Cavewoman Lawyer costume but could use to dress as Michonne from The Walking Dead this year. I have handcuffs that work for my Western sheriff outfit (I keep them hooked to my belt loop) or work for something kinkier if I stretch them across the front two belt loops. Classics save money.
Once you’ve emptied your closet, think outside the box. A little creativity will make your wardrobe go farther, and it will absolutely keep you from looking just like everyone else. That’s how costume prizes are won, my friends.
Try these off-the-cuff ideas on for size:
Blue dress + horned devil headband = Devil with the Blue Dress On.
Same headband + front and back cover of Details magazine = the Devil in the Details.
Black outfit + red wig + toy guns = Black Widow.
Same outfit + white wig (often called ghost wig) = Black Cat. You know, Felicia Hardy, of Spider-Man fame.
There’s plenty more, of course. I’ve written about this sort of thing before because I’m the Halloween Elf. The most important things are to have fun with this and start early, for heaven’s sake.
What am I doing this year? Well, my plan is to wear an outfit that’s entirely black and white, right down to jewelry, nail polish and makeup. Totally black and white. Get it?
All black and white = ZERO SHADES OF GREY.
Happy Halloween, ladies! Stay warm — or keep it hot — out there.