The biggest fear is the fear of rejection.
I’m not sure what causes it, where and when it starts to fester in our conscious, but a world filled with fear makes living our lives almost impossible, and a fear of being seen as a fraud in the literary world can be paralyzing.
On Wednesday, I received a FOUR STAR review from Mrs. Mommy Booknerd’s Book Reviews and I also had to head out into the freezing cold, where patches of ice were forming and it was almost too cold to even be outside. You know the weather, where you’re wearing layers, thick sweaters, tall boots, and fur lined coats and you still can’t get warm. Yeah, that is what I encountered on Wednesday. Waiting for my car to get finished in the shop, I sat in the waiting area, where people sat and ignored one another. There was no noise besides the country music playing in the background, along with the soap opera/cooking show/talk show. In that confined space, at a table, I sat looking at my computer screen and tried to work on my daily word count goal.
However, something or shall I say someone kept grabbing my attention. It was the lady sitting next to me, who was reading a book. She seemed enthralled by it, and noticing the cover (it had a mystery appearance in the cover art), I kept getting mentally elbowed, as if with an unction that I should inquire as to what she was reading.
I felt uncomfortable, as if I was invading her space by my rambling; as if I’d taken to begging to have someone notice me and my work. My fear made me want to do nothing more than turn away and continue to tap the keys on my computer and pretend that my story was unfolding as it should.
This went on for about ten minutes, until she rose and I realized that if I didn’t speak to her then, I’d miss my chance at possibly letting a reader of my genre pass me by.
With the help of the review, which I was able to show her, and my forethought in always having business cards on me, I told her about my story and tried to convince her to give it a chance.
I don’t know if she will end up reading it, but she took my card, and thanked me for the information. At the end, it meant so much to me, because it was one more person who now knew my name.
Maybe in a couple of years, things will be different, and I too will be able to continue to jump over my shadow and interact with people, letting them know about my genre, books and passion. Maybe one day soon, I’ll recognize the fear a way to nip it in the bud and not be hindered by its paralysis or questioning my actions and if I should or should not act.
Until then, I think I’ll just enjoy every moment of every day being a writer, an artist of words.
What have you done to overcome your fears?